Dear Grama, In addition to my weekend stay at Tita Pie's house, after the hearing, we had a great "woman talk." We layed on her ultra comfy bed that afternoon and talked for hours. It was one of the most striking and profound conversations between the two of us. I'm glad I took the time to be there. After an exchange of updates and pinky-swears, it was time for dinner. Naturally, your daughter craved for steak and rounded up the troops (Nio and Abbie). We found ourselves at Highlands Steakhouse, located in this swanky Capitol Commons where your theatre mini-you, (Arya) met us. We filled that restaurant with laughter and stories way past closing time. I found myself in a familiar place again that evening. The silence enveloped me before I went to bed, and so I started writing. Dear Woman, First of all, I want to apologize for how badly I have treated you. I've always compromised and took the easy way out. Secondly, you're wonderful, no matter what others may think. Believe it. Don't be sorry for what you feel and I can tell that you're finally learning how to be comfortable in your own skin. That's alright. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize your worth and how valuable you truly are. 30 years of ups and downs have led us here. I'll give you a pat on the back for making it this far in one piece. You see, not everyone sees you that way, not even yourself sometimes but I'm here to remind you otherwise. You carry battle scars on your heart and as people think they know your whole being based on their perception, what's important is that you know the truth. You're actually tougher with taking the blows, than you might seem. While others give up, you persevere. While others give in, you endure. And the tears they see in between these seasons are your own way of cleansing your spirit. You have to remember that you've always turned pain into purpose. It makes you all the more interesting and full of fire. The truth is... You are strong. You are beautiful. You are enough. You can do all things in Christ who gives you strength. There's nothing to prove, my love. I think you can handle this next chapter of your life. And with that, I bid you goodbye. Signing off, Your old self Tita Pie and I have come to an agreement that day - the older we get, the more accurate and sensible you seem. We are now slowly understanding you and ourselves.
Kisses to heaven, Bayz
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Dear Grama, I had a great weekend with Tita Pie and the family! I arrived Manila on Wednesday evening after a long day. Then, I went to the court hearing with Tita Pie. You might have felt displeasure from what you have witnessed but I am confident that you understand it despite the discomfort. It wasn't an easy thing to do - to talk to your killer, Michael, however, I knew God was leading me. I prayed for him (as I have been for the past months with friends and our family), but this time, it was in person. I remember JR telling me about a documentary many months ago about how a group of Christians traveled to spread the gospel, in unexpected places, such as a witchcraft conference and other congregations that promoted evil. He mentioned how they showed RADICAL LOVE through Christ and many were saved. This stuck with me, especially when Pastor Albert encouraged me one morning after his preaching that I must speak with Michael. Evil is a subject that stirs many debates. It doesn't feel real until you look at someone who possesses it and that encounter proves that a spiritual warfare is present. God's word reminds us in Romans 12:21 "Don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." I meditated on that and brought it with me the following day, when we visited Muntinlupa maximum security for Prison Awareness Week with CBCP and St. Paul University QC. We were told that a day before our arrival, there was a shootout and killing incident. The police confiscated fourteen .45 caliber guns, a grenade and even a drone! That didn't stop us from continuing our visit. As we entered under the watchful eyes of roving guards on the ground and up high in the tower, all I could think to myself, "Lord, this is it!" A scorching-hot walk through their compound that Friday morning would give you a lingering feeling of extremes. It's puzzling how sadness, joy, despair and hope can all be felt in one place. There you would see sub communities that displayed their lifestyle and hobbies, complete with facilities such as a sports complex, church and hospital. The atmosphere was surreal and comparable to the production set of Shawshank Redemption meets Prison Break. (Cellphones and cameras weren't allowed but I was able to grab photos from social media sources.) We heard mass and interacted with about 200 prisoners. I couldn't help but notice how majority of the men (many were into their old age) who must have been there for over 20 years! As I cheerfully handed them their lunch, I paid attention to their emotions. Some smiled, some said thank you and some had their heads down with no response. When I encountered the latter, I would make eye contact and scoop their attention with a warm "Good morning!" They always returned the greeting. I realized there at that moment, beyond the label "criminal", they too, are simply human beings. We thought we would end our day there as planned, but God knew better. We were invited to watch the College Guild of the RDC in medium security prison perform right after our first activity. It was not what I had expected. What they're doing there is amazing. You can sincerely feel that there's a transformation being done so that these young men can gain society's trust again. They yearn for healing and restoration, just like me and all the other people here on earth. It was so touching to see them sing and dance their hearts out. I've never felt more than welcome. My compassion goes out for them as I sat and watched. There I was thinking to myself, "Here are these prisoners, locked up for a mistake and here I am free to do what I want. I should be wiser." To hear their stories convicts us that we're all sinners. Apart from that actual prison they live in, we too, in our own way have some sort of prison in our hearts. That could be unforgiveness, bitterness, shame, guilt or some secret sin we do not dare expose. God knows our hearts and the preaching from this past Sunday service had impeccable timing to match my first prison outreach. Pastor emphasized that "the Holy Spirit can liberate you from your darkest of hearts." I came home with plenty of thoughts and learnings: Pride doesn’t equate strength. It’s actually quite the opposite. It takes much more courage to humble oneself. After all, doing the right thing is a lot harder than opting the easy way out. Choose God and He can set you free. Overflowing with love and kisses to heaven, Your Bayz P.S. I'm so grateful for Tita Pie. She has opened my eyes to a different perspective by bringing me with her to this experience. Her ministry and passion to help reconnect the prisoners to God, for decades, is truly admirable. |
AuthorMany are called, but few are Jozen. Archives
October 2018
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